


prom

by Switchadelphia (PumpkinHeadJones)



Series: Switchie's One Word Prompts [6]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, Angst and Humor, Episode: s01e03 Underage Drinking: A National Concern, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sex, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Season/Series 01, and both are kinda gross tbh, both m/m and m/f, one word prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 09:33:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13074084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinHeadJones/pseuds/Switchadelphia
Summary: Fuck Charlie Kelly. Apparently he’s too good for Mac’s company, now that he knows how to talk to high school girls all of a sudden. So fuck him. Right up in the asshole.





	prom

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of an ongoing series of one-word prompts that i fill over on tumblr.

_Just like high school_ , Charlie had said, just before ditching them to go to prom with that dweeby chick. Mac scoffs and grabs another beer from behind the bar, careful not to spill it all over his rental as he twists the cap off. Charlie is so full of shit. He acts like he wasn’t as big a loser as the rest of them, like he was so above them and their constant bickering.

Like he didn’t stay home with Mac on their prom night, huffing spray paint and crying into Mac’s shoulder about how he’d never even kissed a girl before. An image of Charlie’s wet slimy face floats to the surface of his beer-soaked brain: the way he rubbed his tears and snot into the collar of Mac’s RIOT shirt as he humped his leg, begging Mac to distract him from his loneliness. Mac stomps that memory back down and fumbles in his tux pocket for a cigarette.

Fuck Charlie Kelly. Apparently he’s too good for Mac’s company, now that he knows how to talk to high school girls all of a sudden. So fuck him. Right up in the asshole.

Mac is struggling to get his Zippo to work when Dennis stumbles out of the back office. It looks like he’s been crushing Dee’s ceiling stash, judging by his inability to walk straight or keep both of his eyes open at the same time.

“Wh-where’sh Charlie?” he slurs, dumping himself into the bar stool right next to Mac. His tux jacket is all wrinkled a crooked, and his bowtie is stuffed into this jacket pocket. The top two buttons of his shirt appear to be missing, like they were ripped off or something.

“Dude, he’s at prom,” Mac says with disgust.

“Ssseriously?” Dennis says incredulously, eyebrows knitting together.

“Yep,” Mac says, finally getting his lighter to cooperate and taking a long, deep drag on his menthol.

“Man, tha-that is sush, such _bullshit_. Fucking _Dirtgrub_ gets to go to fucking prom, an-and _I_ don’t?” Dennis snatches Mac’s beer off the bar and takes a swig.

“Hey - !”

“I mean, look at me!” Dennis screams, throwing his arms out wide for Mac to inspect him and sloshing beer all over the goddamn place in the process. Mac jumps out of his stool as some of it lands across his rented slacks.

“ _Goddammit_ , Dennis - !”

“I look like a goddamn, a goddamn _movie star_ over here,” Dennis says, and Mac glares at him in defiant silence as he pauses to wait for confirmation. Dennis goes on anyway. “I deserve to be at prom, grinding on that hot legal chick - “

“Tammy,” Mac interjects with a sigh, taking another drag of his cigarette.

“Right, Tammy, thank you,” Dennis says, “I should be there, mashing doll parts with - with Tammy on the dance floor, not - not fucking _Dirtgrub_.” Dennis spits Charlie’s old nickname like it’s a slur.

“Hey man, I get it,” Mac says around his cigarette, walking around to the back of the bar to find a towel to clean off his pants. “I’m bummed we didn’t get to go to prom together too, but - “

“Oh whatever, _Ronnie_ , you weren’t even _invited_ to prom,” Dennis spits, spilling more beer on himself as he brings the bottle up to his lips. Dennis is such an asshole when he’s drunk. “You can’t possibly know how I feel right now. I was invited, I deserve to be there!”

“Fuck you, Dennis,” Mac spits across the bar, abandoning his search for a towel. “You were only invited to make that asshole Brad jealous. Tammy played you like a goddamn drum. She was never going to take you to the fucking prom.”

“Fuck me?” Dennis says as Mac snatches his beer back from him. “No, fuck _you_ , Ronnie. At least I’ve been to a fucking prom. And now even _Charlie_ can say he’s gotten a date to prom before. You - _hic_! - you’re pathetic.”

“Oh my God, you know what? I changed my mind. I’m glad Tammy dumped your ass. Like fuck would I want to go to some piece of shit prom with you.”

“Phht, yeah right, Dennis sneers. “I bet you wish we still went tonight, even after Tammy - even after I decided not to go. I - you know what? I bet you wish I’d asked you to go with me. As my _date_.”

“What the fuck Dennis?” Mac shouts, and it’s way too shrill. He clears his throat, but the damage is done. Dennis has that smile he gets on his face whenever he’s about to do or say something really fucked up just to make a point. 

“I bet you wish you were my cute little prom date, don’t you Mac?” Dennis says as smoothly and unslurred as he can manage. “I bet you wish I drove up to - _hic_ \- to your door and brought you flowers, met Mrs. Mac and took cute photos with you in a, in your pretty dress.” Dennis snatches Mac’s half-smoked cigarette out of his mouth but doesn’t take a drag. “Is that why you stayed home with Charlie? To circle jerk and cry about how you wished you were the one blowing me in the backseat of a limo?”

Mac wants to say, “Fuck you and your shitty mind games, Dennis Reynolds.” Or, “Your cock slid into a pussy that was filled with my cum not four hours before you.” Or, “I would have been way more funner at prom than any of those stupid sluts you used to bang in high school.” Instead, he says,

“I’m pretty sure your prom date had mouth herpes, dude. Did you really let all that near your dick?”

Dennis looks for a moment like he might go off like an untied balloon, bouncing and flying all over the goddamn place. Instead, he just deflates like a slow leak. After a few aborted attempts at a comeback, he just slides off of his stool and slumps off toward the restroom. It’s a low blow, going after Dennis’s nasty prom date like that, but Mac feels lot more relieved than guilty right now. It’s a low blow, but it gets Dennis to leave him alone, stop that line of questioning. It works, just like it always works. Just like high school.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted to switchadelphia.tumblr.com on 21 May 2016. Come cry with me about macdennis.


End file.
